Hunger

A few months ago I fasted. I’ve only done it 3 times. My average is less than once a year for each year I’ve been a Christian. Lucky for me I don’t have to try to earn God’s love by fasting or any other spiritual discipline. BUT, there is very valuable lessons hidden in these disciplines.

I knew I was in trouble because I was making my ministry all about me saving it all. I had to call on God. I had to make him my focus, so I fasted. I am aware I risk losing all award in heaven by telling you I fasted. I am assuming my bad attitude already cancelled out all holiness points anyways. 

I was expecting some beautiful spiritual experience. Perhaps it would be something really spiritual where I would be one with Jesus and Mother Teresa. 

What really happened wasn’t pretty. Fasting revealed so much more of my heart than I was expecting. To put it simply: I was a mess. I was so impatient, annoyed, and angry. This was on my day of truly seeking the Lord…

But what my physical hunger revealed was my spiritual hunger. All I could think about was how hungry I was. My hunger constantly drew me to the Lord. As crazy as I was that day, I felt safe in God's love. I was constantly reminded of God, constantly drawn to prayer. 

It made me think of how so often we don’t even let ourselves feel hungry. We just fill ourselves with whatever. I eat like crap. I’m changing that thanks to my lovely friends at trader joes. I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER WHEN I EAT BETTER! I do the same thing in my life, I fill my time and heart with crap when my soul is really hungering for God. Fasting revealed to me my poverty. 

God is always there. His love is constant and my soul craves it. But, I am just too darn human. I mess up. I fill myself with cheap imitations of the Father’s love. But nothing really satisfies. I feel off. Like how crappy you feel when you eat McDonalds. Just because America calls it food, doesn’t mean it’s really food. How many things do we fill ourselves with and just settle for the false sense of security.

Come back to the Lord. Give yourself a chance to feel your own hunger. Turn away from the distractions. Only when you face your own emptiness can the Lord fill you up with His love.