heart

When I got to work this past Tuesday Ian (8 year old boy I nanny) was extremely excited to see me. This is unusual. He is in the phase where he plays it cool & pretends he doesn’t like me. At least I hope he’s pretending. This Tuesday there was no pretending. He had a huge smile on his face. He got me one of those adapters that hook up your IPOD to play music in the car. When I say he got it for me what I mean is that he stole it from his parents. This is the second one he has stolen because the first one didn’t work. The kid is persistent. 

He is so cute. He had clearly been waiting all weekend to show me. How thoughtful is this… He is 8!!! We went out to my car so he could set it up & test it out.

It jammed. Not just jammed, broke my radio all together. Immediately he turned to me with puppy dog eyes. It was obvious he felt terrible. So, I said,

“Ian, it’s ok, I know you were trying to do something kind for me. I am not upset at all.”

Jesus gives us a call to become like little children. Little ones frequently mess up, but they know they are loved. I felt a peace wash over me as I realized Jesus says the same thing to me. I have one more week of Young Life club. This is my first year as team leader. It has been filled with mistakes.

“Megan, It’s ok, I know you were trying to do something kind for me. I am not upset at all.”

I love the story of the widow’s offering in Mark 12. It brings to life this truth I am writing about.

Jesus sat down near the collection box in the Temple and watched as the crowds dropped in their money. Many rich people put in large amounts. Then a poor widow came and dropped in two small coins.

 Jesus called his disciples to him and said, “I tell you the truth, this poor widow has given more than all the others who are making contributions. For they gave a tiny part of their surplus, but she, poor as she is, has given everything she had to live on.”

Mark 12:41-44

Jesus is more concerned with our heart than what we are doing or giving. He wants our actions to flow out of our heart, not to be about appearances. He loves a genuine person. Children believe you when you love a gift they give, no matter how small. It is adults who are haunted by the feeling of not being good enough. Jesus always measures by the heart. It is the world is concerned with numbers & results.

What is your offering? 

Maybe you are a great listener. You discredit your gift because our culture puts so much pressure on things being a big deal & noticeable. Those things only matter if they draw attention. We rarely value the hidden, simple things. We secretly are craving human approval instead of God’s approval. So no one notices your gift and your heart. Maybe you feel unimportant. Maybe you feel like your gift doesn’t matter unless you get the applause. Before you know it you are living for others instead of God. (As Beth Moore would say, is this too honest? Is this just me?)

Yet Jesus is filled with joy as you listen to one of His hurting children who just need to be heard & know they are not alone. Your gifts are powerful. My gifts are powerful. But, if we get caught up in comparison or people pleasing we may rob ourselves and others of the light, healing, beauty, and truth that lives inside of each of us. God created you & I know He made each of us this way. You can’t say you don’t have it. Maybe you haven’t discovered your “offering” but it is there. He can use you in a way He can use no one else.

Learn to live like a child. Trust that your Father is overwhelmed with joy when you give what you feel like is a little when you give it with all of your heart. Rely on grace. Be brave like an 8 year old. Give. Here is your permission to make mistakes. The only true mistake we make is living in fear & not being who we really are. Don’t let fear hold you back from your offerings. What is your gift?

This past year in trying to live out my offering I have faced lots of trials & insecurities. There is this beautiful passage in one of Brennan’s books, and I have clung to it on some of my most challenging days where I just wanted to give up. The book is called: A glimpse of Jesus, Stranger to self-hatred. This passage is a letter one of his friends challenged him with…

"Do you ever reflect upon the fact that Jesus feels proud of you? Proud that you accepted the faith which he offered you? Proud that after he chose you, you chose him for a friend and Lord? Proud that you haven’t given up? Proud that you believe in him enough to try again and again? Proud that you trust that he can help you? Do you ever think that Jesus appreciates you for wanting him, for wanting to say no to so many things that would separate you from him? Do you ever think that Jesus is grateful to you for pausing to smile and comfort one of his children who has a great need to see a smile, to feel a touch? Do you ever think of Jesus being grateful to you for learning more about him so that you can speak to others more deeply and truly about him? Do you ever think that Jesus can be angry or disappointed in you for not believing that he has forgiven you totally? 

Jesus said, “I do not call you servants, but friends…” Therefore, there is the possibility of every feeling and emotion which can exist between friends to exist here and now between Jesus and you."

(obviously can't get off pintrest, i will regret this when I work at 7am tomorrow)