Thursday, November 28, 2013

Thanksgiving 2013



“The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places.” 
Ernest Hemingway 


The more serious I take my writing the more I want to impress this imaginary audience. The best writing advice I have ever received is to write what you want to read. So, today I am not trying to write something perfect and life changing. I just want to write something I would want to read during the holidays. 

The last few years holidays have been hard. Each year there have been things I have read from blogs and books that have given me hope. The words were like a life line reminding me I wasn't alone.

The holidays can be a reminder of the traditions lost, the people who are gone, and the past we long for. Maybe your family is too far away for you to be able see. Or it could be your first time through the holidays sober. Divorce divides homes bringing loss to the holidays. Whatever it is for you, if things seem broken or empty I understand. I don't know your exact pain nor do I pretend too. I just know when everyone else seems to be getting together and celebrating it sometimes only highlights what is missing. You don’t have to ignore that pain today. God heals us over time. There is no quick fix for heart ache. This is the first year I woke up and was overwhelmed with gratitude for all that I have. 

All I wanted to say is that if you feel haunted by the past today, you’re not alone. I understand. There are a lot of people who feel the way you do. I think the worse part of the holidays is that comparison of what I don’t have to what everyone else does.

Families fall apart, death steals our loved ones, and life continues to go on before we are ready for it. If you miss someone today and need to cry, then do it. Here is permission if you need it. Ignore the pressure to have it all together. It is key to not beat yourself up. Don’t be mad at yourself for not being happy today. Maybe someone else is feeling the same way you are and would really benefit from seeing someone else be real.

And the secret is that today is just another day and you are stronger than you realize. You are resilient. No matter what life throws at you, you are going make your way through. Acknowledging the sorrow will bring you release and healing. The things you are sad about matter. The people you’ve lost are important. There are deaths you will never get over. Nor should you. They will be apart of your heart forever now. It’s ok to be upset on a holiday.

God fixes what is broken. He doesn’t always change my circumstances but he is changing me. Today I am thankful for everything in my life. For years I wanted to change how things happened. I wanted to put back together what fell apart. The bad things are what have made me who I am today. God has put the most amazing girls in my life through young life. Shared pain brings people together. I get to shine a little light in. I wouldn’t change that for anything. Even if I had a chance to redo the past and make things go how I wanted too, I wouldn't. God can redeem everything. There is still hurt, but he will work in it in ways you couldn’t have imagined.

The good is too good. I don’t deserve it. Sanctuary, my church, has become my family.  And I could never forget all my friends of Bill who have taught me how to stay sober through it all. Today is filled with seeing people who love me for the real me. Imperfect we all come together and create this messed up family that has been carrying me through every holiday season since 2008. I could never thank them enough. I love you guys with everything I am.

The best is this God of mine. I have people in my life who love me. God loved me before any of them. He found me and loved me when I had nothing to offer Him or anyone. I was lost, consumed by darkness. Jesus has become my very best friend. People thought it was strange I wanted to spend time alone today, but I had to get time with Him. I never thought I’d be a "Jesus person". Nor did I ever want to be. I use to cringe at the thought of it or mention of His name. Now, I could never imagine my life without the most compassionate God. I am so blessed to get to live my life every day with Him. He is what I’ve been longing for my whole life. He met me in my darkness, listened to my prayers as I cried through all the holidays years before, and loved me before I was loveable. The past five years he’s been healing my heart and now I can actually enjoy this day. There have been brief moments of sadness. The only crying I have done today are tears of gratitude.

Where ever you are at today, be there. Be your own best friend. Don’t try to force yourself to have a good attitude. Take care of yourself. If you are hurting, reach out. People care about you. The biggest lie you could ever believe is that you are alone.

And if you need somewhere to go all the Sanctuary ragamuffins will be getting together around 5 in capo beach. We are all crazy, but you are welcome to join. Text me for the address.


To be grateful for the good things that happen in our lives is easy, but to be grateful for all of our lives-the good as well as the bad, the moments of joy as well as the moments of sorrow, the successes as well as the failures, the rewards as well as the rejections-that requires hard spiritual work. Still, we are only truly grateful people when we can say thank you to all that has brought us to the present moment. As long as we keep dividing our lives between events and people we would like to remember and those we would rather forget, we cannot claim the fullness of our beings as a gift of God to be grateful for... Let's not be afraid to look at everything that has brought us to where we are now and trust that we will soon see in it the guiding hand of a loving God.
Henri Nouwen

“You will lose someone you can’t live without,and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp."
Anne Lamott

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