Waking up today was rough. The past 2.5 days I’ve
been at the storyline conference where I’ve been waking up to ragamuffin
coffee. (Seriously, ragamuffin coffee. I thought I was in heaven. Now I'm back home drinking the cancer causing Keurig.) The days were filled with the greatest speakers and rad
community. I want to go back! Post-Storyline Depression is a serious illness and I need treatment.
This year I wanted to take a trip alone. I've been doing New Years reminders the past two years. Different than resolutions in that I know I screw
up a lot and that reminders might work a little better. It's a whole other story really.
Last year I taped my NY reminders next to my bed and
thought about them often. In January it’s easy to be intentional about who it
is you want to be. How often is it all forgotten by February.
This year my theme is dependence on God. There are a
handful of different things I want to try. On my list there are small things
like saying “no” more often. I want to stop caring about what others think and
have my gaze fixed on God. There are also bigger things like that trip by myself.
It’s easy to say we love and follow God and then keep
doing our own thing. Or to care more about what others think than what He
thinks. We can squeeze God into our lives. But I don't think that's what He's asking. I think He wants to become our lives, not just a small part of them.
I wanted to challenge
that broken part of my mind that was still approval seeking and spend the year seeking God's approval. I asked God to remove that character defect.
We don’t get to ask God to do things in our life and
then just sit there. It’s annoying, but I’ve found our choices and taking action
are more important to our spiritual life than anything else. We don’t sit
in a room and pray and wait for some angel to show up. We go out and experience. Trust God. Ask him to remove
these broken parts in us and then act in faith like He has.
So I got on yelp, found the cheapest motel I could
find, and booked my stay.(hindsight is 20/20- don't go for the cheapest motel)
The trip was easily one of the best things I’ve ever
done for myself. The first night where I stayed by myself was absolutely terrifying.
I almost drove home. Isn't that what we do? Give up as soon as things get a little scary. (I’ll write more about my stay at the lovely point loma inm
on another post.)
Storyline taught me that we owe it to ourselves and
the world to live a better story. That doesn’t happen by sitting at home
daydreaming. It happens by living. Let’s be honest. We spend a lot more time thinking about the people we want to be than doing things that gets us there.
Because unfortunately, as Anne Lamott said at the conference, the freedom comes
from the discipline.
It takes work. We have got to get rid of the
mentality that life and the things we want should be easy. A good story is
never easy. It's just boring. There has to be a cost.
We are each a different story and what we do each day is filling up
the pages. Would any one follow along all seven books of Harry Potter if there
was nothing to overcome? Harry Potter walked up to Voldemort and stabbed him.
He died. The end. That is not a story I want to read!
Maybe the challenges you are facing right now are
the very things that will shape your life into a book that people want to read.
Your courage, strength, and faith will show them that they too can start living
a different story. That's what stories do. They change us.
There’s many different things that get in the way. I’m
going to be writing about them and you can follow along and maybe together we
can start changing our stories. Maybe fear, laziness, and business won’t
determine what the pages say anymore.
It begins with being intentional. Figure out what you
really want and go after it. Life was not meant for us to live a boring story.
There is someone who needs you to tell a different tale. Let your sobriety,
your desire for healing, the way you break the cycle of dysfunction in your
family be what tells someone else they can do the same.Let your art inspire someone to pick up a paintbrush. The secret is we are all afraid. The ones who do great things learn to ignore the fear and go after their dreams anyway.
If you’re quiet enough maybe you can hear God asking… What
do you want? What story do you want to live? Are you happy with the character
you are becoming?
The conference was insane and I want to share as
much of it as I can here so hopefully you can get a little of what I’ve experienced.
If this kind of stuff is what you are about go to the Storyline Blog
More than anything I hope this post is a reminder that your story matters & is one that the world needs to hear.
