Hufford St

I’ve recently told Ren I only love her because she’s my sister. She’s not my sister biologically, but it’s the only way to explain how we are still friends. We drive each other nuts. We are total opposites.

In spite of that we have this deep love for one another. Our friendship has stood the test of time. (5 years, but I count girl friendships in dog years) Well one difference is Ren

is a planner. Some may call her responsible. Somehow I convinced her we don’t need to figure out where we are staying on this road trip. She offered to call some camp sites. I politely declined. I believe “it’ll all work out” were my exact words. I don’t know how I got her to agree with it. Who is crazier: me for thinking that or her for going along with it??

Now fast forward to day one of our trip. If you read my other blog post you know we left at 3:30am to make sure we could see Anne. So we have this “friend” Anthony. Like most guys he pretended to know what he was talking about. He had done the drive a ton of times so naively we trusted him. There was only one place we were forbidden to stop: Eureka, California. Naturally that is where we had dinner.

We leave Denny’s at midnight. One more hour of driving until Hufford St. I’m delirious. I don’t know how I’m going to make it, but the windy road and funny conversation kept me awake. All of the sudden, some “a-hole” shined his brights at me!! Of course I shined mine back. There stood 3 LARGE Elk. Aggressive male elk we later found out from a radio report. I slammed on the breaks. If that guy hadn’t of been there who knows what would have happened… traveling mercies.

I am now wide awake due to the adrenaline. We find Hufford St. Anthony explained this place as a road that ends at the beach. We’d wake up on the ocean, have a cup of coffee, and read streams in the desert. We don’t know where the coffee was coming from but this was the image in our mind. There is no such thing as a good morning without coffee. Anyways, we find this street and start driving down it… slowly… as I am still terrified of the elk. It reminds me a lot of The Ring. That terrible scary movie where everyone dies in 7 days. It is just sketchy. As I’m driving down the road dogs charge my car barking. This is 1 a.m. You can't make this up. I am terrified. They won’t move and I didn’t want to hit them.

We call Anthony and he said we turned off too soon and to get back on the main road. We keep going down this little dirt path. We get to the end of the road. There is a no trespassing sign and we are officially stuck. I am new to stick shift, it appears that we are on the edge of a cliff. This is my breaking point. I lost it. How do we turn around? (Notice how there is no beach, thanks Anthony.) It's a nightmare.

Ren has to literally get out of the car to direct me. Because of the ledge I just have to reverse down. It’s difficult because it is curved and extremely dark out. She kept telling me to turn the steering wheel left. I would go right. From my perspective if I went left we were going over this cliff. My body was shaking because I was so afraid. I couldn’t get over my own perception of what was going to happen. The longer I didn’t trust, the longer I was stuck.

Isn’t it the same with God? We get ourselves stuck in not the best situations. We get lost. It’s inevitable. We are human. God is there to redirect us in the dark. Sometimes it seems impossible to listen. It seems to damn scary. I get it. You can’t see past your own view so you rely on yourself to feel in control. This illusion of control will destroy us if we keep holding onto it.

This is why we stay stuck in our brokenness. We simply can’t fix ourselves. We need someone to save us. We need someone to get out of our car and redirect us. God meets us in the dark. He will show us the way if we just listen.

You, Lord, keep my lamp burning;
    my God turns my darkness into light. Psalm 18:28

It’s the WHAT IFS that get in the way which is just another way of staying stuck in fear.These WHAT IFs hold us captive.

What if when I listen to God people don’t like me as much because I’m different? I don’t fit in like I use to. What if I never get married? What if people judge me? What if I have to deal with the pain I run from? What if. What if. We all have different lies that run through our minds.  I don't know what your what ifs are. I just know the devil is pretty good at telling us lies to hold us back from the abundant life God has to offer us.

God has the best plan for us. He knows better than us. He is just waiting for us to stop trying to run the show. If we just listen to Him and take a risk He can and will lead us on a new path. The path God takes us down is not easy. It is not easy to face your fears. It is not easy to face the pain in your heart or your own brokenness. But the Lord’s path is filled with freedom, peace, and love. This is the path where He changes your world and your heart so you can do the same. Trust in God, do not let fear be your lord.You never know where God wants to take you.

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.  Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Romans 12:1-2

PS Long story short we ended up sleeping at some strange motel parking lot, but woke up in the Redwood Forest less than a mile from the ocean. It was breath taking. Way better than where I thought we should have stayed.